Old soul

Feel like dying all my years of crying has finally taken a toll on my life because the one thing I was chasing has slipped through the grasp of my fingers once again I'm not gone sit here and pretend like I'm ok because then I would be lying cause my body is dying my soul is weak after this I will say fuck love because there's no point anymore I was left with a chore and a gift but what is a man supposed to do when he feels like he has lost the world if a gun was placed in my hands on my mama I wouldn't hesitate no need to contemplate the one time everything was so right with a love that felt so perfect but it all just disappeared no longer looking in the rearview don't worry because old feelings will never return because I have been replaced and all traces of me will be erased I'm willing to be your distant friend but we both know things will change cause the process has already started don't get me wrong I know your happy so congratulations I will sit here in my sorrow and tears and rip myself into pieces because in the end there's no one else to blame I felt like you wanted to move on that is what I gave you never in a million years did I want to lose you but that is actually what I have to the memories will never be lost on but I'm erasing relevent so I don't have to hurt anymore I have no heart I have no soul I'm more colder now than I've ever been I know when you read this you will hate me but just know that I'm ok with suffering it's who I have become my misery is created by me so for one last time I know now your not obligated to conversate with me because it's no longer priority and like I said before don't tell me your gonna talk to me no matter what when in reality it's the complete opposite and I'm not gonna try to come in between what you have because that's not me as a man my master plan is to be as distant as possible because that's the only thing a loner knows how to be you don't have worry about me blowing up your phone because that's not needed and it would be disrespectful and I truly do respect you so these are the last times I will text you like I have no one else in hind sight I don't but you no longer have to worry about I know this will probably sound painful but in the end I will be alright