One Day of Honesty

To be truthful, I am awkward.

When I stare blankly at you it's not because I'm not paying attention, it's because I'm too confused on what to say.

       Yesterday, I dropped a book and when someone handed it to me I said good morning.

To be honest, I'm clumsy.

The last time I tried to make microwave Mac and cheese I forgot to put the water in and caught the pasta on fire.

   Yesterday I tripped and fell on my pride, and it shattered like a mirror holding the reflection of someone who wasn't me.

To be frank, I'm stubborn.

I refuse to accept help from others.

   Yesterday I broke four cups carrying a box of kitchen goods because I didn't let him take it from me.

To be candid, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of the things that I can't fix and the things that I never will be able to understand.

       Yesterday I cried because I was afraid that the walls of my broken home would come crashing down on me.

To be sincere, I’m not okay.

Everything around me is telling me I’m not. My hands shake and twitch like my depression is trying to force them into doing something they shouldn't.

Today I lost interest in whether or not I live or die. And a wing thin promise was made, “I’m fine”