One Day At A Time

Today is the first time in a couple of days that I actually am starting to feel like me once more,

And this is the first time in a while that I have not curled up on my bed, or sitting and crying on my bedroom floor.

I put on a smile like I am okay and I always say "I'm fine,"

But behind closed doors I am dying, and I feel like with one wrong movement I am going to snap off of the thin line.

I am hanging on by a thread, and yes I think it would be easier if I were dead,

But at the same time, I don't want to die, and that is a fear that I still dread.

At this point I don't understand myself, and I feel so alone,

And even when I am surrounded by my family, it doesn't feel like home.

I thought about doing it the other night, but I stopped myself before I did something that I would regret,

And if there is still one person out there who cares, it would be something that they would never forget.

Life is tough, and no one said that it was going to be easy, but eventually things will turn around,

And sometimes you still feel like you're drowing, and you know you're lost, but unsure of whether or not you want to be found. 

It hurts to know that no matter how hard you try you will never be good enough for some,

But I don't want to be good enough for everyone, but I do want to be what someone considers to be their number one.

 I shut everyone off, and I already feel better, because I like being alone, but deep down my heart is grieving,

Because when everyone is gone, you don't have to worry about them leaving, 

Yes, it hurts, and as much as it sucks, I'll take it one day at a time and it will be okay,

So I go to sleep crying every night, but I wake up every morning, and just take it day by day.