The One That Got Away

Remind me why we can’t try this again.
Now that we know what’s at stake,
we won’t make the same mistakes
and if we do, we’re done for good, the end.
But at least we’ll know what could have been
because this “what if” game is killing me
silently,
zapping my strength and my energy.
I’m convinced that you hate me
because the last time we talked, that’s all you said.
I was young; I didn’t know how to use my head.
I was a boy then, ignorant and stupid
back when our love was so elusive
and by the time we captured it,
I killed it before it had a chance to live.
I pursued the wrong person, chased the wrong thing
and since then, no one’s been fit to be the Queen to my King.
We had the power to rule
but I didn’t belong on the throne. I was meant for the court cuz I was a fool
for letting you go and letting our love die.
I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to fly.
You were the air under my wings,
you gave my heart a reason to sing,
you were everything I loved about myself…
now I feel hollow inside this shell.

I don’t expect you to take me back;
what I did is unforgivable. But the fact
that when you go ask our old friends
how in love we were… and they didn’t expect it to end…

why let it? After all this time,
I know it’s hard to reopen those wounds because they remind
you of all the pain, but you have to bleed
in order to heal. And I’ll concede
to every law you lay down, every rule you place,
I’ll even walk on eggshells to slow the pace
so we don’t go too fast and make the same mistakes.
One step forward, one word is all it takes.

I don’t expect you to love me, or even feel the same.
We can even restart - fresh clean slate.
Here, I’ll start: Hi, my name is Sam. See? Easy as that.
I promise, I swear this time I won’t leave you flat.
My heart still aches when I hear your name,
I still smile when I see your face
in our old pictures. They’re like time machines
or still frames straight off the silver screen.
We weren’t a fairytale couple… we never got that far
but I’d like to think that if we had, we’d have set that bar
pretty damn high.
But I ruined the chance to call you mine.

I want to believe that you think about it too;
how we used to be. The mind can be so cruel
as it replays all the memories inside your head.
You can’t escape and you feel like your heart and soul are dead.
But if you don’t think about it, I understand.
I deserve far worse, and it’s all part of whatever plan
someone or something out there has for my life.
I’ll just have to settle for a future where you’re not my wife.
Maybe I’ll find someone else to fill that role
but you...you’re irreplaceable. I hope you know
how truly sorry I am and how much I regret
what happened. This is the one and only debt
I have that I can’t ever pay.

That’s it. I can’t think of anything more to say,
except thank you for giving me this chance.
Now our future rests in your hands.

 

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