To One in Need of Validation

To one in need of validation,

 All I could hear was the faint sound of “Cigarette Daydreams” by Cage the Elephant and my incessant thoughts that were corroding my mind. I was sitting in my cluttered car, but I didn’t mind that it was so hectic because that was me, that was my mind. The clock on the console read 10:02, and I was going nowhere on such a chilly night for it being in the middle of June. It was my best friend’s 17th birthday, and I spent the night contemplating what it meant to be 17 in a world where time was inevitably slipping away.

Some people believe that God is the reason for all existence and some settle on the notion that we are here because that is merely where we are. I didn’t know what I believed and I needed answers. In our youth, we are redundantly told “You are you, and I am I, and we are both special.” But I kept thinking and practically shouting out loud at the world, that it just doesn’t make any sense, because what about me makes me special? I used to think it was my name, and then I met someone with my name. And of course, I thought I was special to a boy at school, but likewise there was another pretty, tall, brunette girl who replaced me.

The next song to come on was One Direction’s “Perfect”. I wasn’t perfect by any means despite what the lyrics said, but that’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re a perfectionist. I kept my foot on the gas and kept moving forward.

          I love this city. It’s small enough to be considered homey, but big enough that I pass a new face every day. I’m lucky to live here. I’m lucky to live. And then I became stuck on the question, “Why do I exist? Why do we all exist?” I couldn’t figure out if it was for the benefit of someone else or if we are placed on this Earth to find answers. But we wouldn’t get answers to the questions we ask, and I was still lost in the words society has told me about myself. None of it felt right. This is what I thought about that June 24th starless night, just driving around the city that made me fall in love with driving on Thomasville road, and the way the streetlights created spotlights along the black pavement.

Pulling into my driveway, the driveway of the house that made me love when I heard my mom’s footsteps at my door, and my friends who love the aroma that wafts out the foyer, everything suddenly made sense.

 Me, Kenley, I am special. People may share your Myer-Briggs personality result, your favorite movie, or type of popcorn, but there will never be someone who shares every one of my favorite things. That’s why I am special. I exist because of that too. Your individuality brings so much to the table; you are an advocate for those who need to know that it’s okay to not be perfect and it’s okay to not believe something is right even when society says it is. I need you to realize this world wants you. You need to.

Love, Yourself