One by One

I feel them slide down my throat, Painless as I sip water to help them down, One by one. Yet, I feel the pain of each one, Just like a physical blow. And I think to myself, "It's for the best." But it's not. Taking these pills won't bring him back, But I still try. One by one. I fall asleep not long after the last pill slides down. And I awake screaming. "It didn't work!" I almost said. The pain unbearable as the pills burn through my body. I tell my mother. Next, an ambulance arrives, And the paramedics treat me like dirt for what I've tried. I don't blame them. I'm in the hospital, And it all blurs. I hear them talking. "She shouldn't be alive. These levels are too high." And I shouldn't. I was in the mental hospital next, And stayed for a week. It helped some I think. But I will never forget that night, and that emptiness as I swallowed the plls. One by one I'm better now, And going to college between this year and junior year of high school. I'm glad I'm alive now, though I never bought I would be. I'm just glad they didn't work. Those pills. Though I still feel them. One by one...