That one person

Growing up you kinda realize what you want at a young age. Sometimes it’s not the same for everyone, because some people just don’t know what they want. It takes experience and trying it out for your self or just by nature to find out. Through the years you find your self either confused , or just trying to find out who’s Best for you. They say the right one will come eventually , but what if you wasn’t prone to having anyone , what if you just couldn’t get through your relationships , it was just clearly not working out. Then at the point the saying no longer exist. Your forced to do this thing called playing the field. Girls often get called hoes, rats , sluts and all kinds of things because of these outcomes  but when you turn around and see a guy do it it’s all ok. I never could understand that principle, and I feel some people’s pain on that kind of situation. I personally would say playing the field is ok to an extent , it’s very risky. Because you have to be aware of the things that come with that. You have feelings for someone you don’t really know , maybe you get pregnant , maybe you catch a disease although it can all happen with your one partner it’s still different because that’s the person you gave this consent to. If you go out playing the field an your just doing ya thing with any person you see or attracted to that’s gone take you down the wrong path. You gone start beginning to feel like you can’t trust or whenever you want to be serious your significant other doing what you use to do. That one person can change your life. The next person can also change your life. By that I mean that person can make you feel like your on top

Of the world an you both will be together till death do you part and the next day you find out his/her has been seeing someone else. That right there alone can make you feel like you lost all sanity , you don’t know if your wanted anymore , you don’t know if you will ever trust again. An It really can get to you in the worst way. The next person you decide to settle with may be in a bad predicament but mostly off your thoughts an current mindset. You can make your other feel like they aren’t shit just because you were so use to not trusting for so long an having to re open up is hard. Once you start to open up then you begin to question yourself with things like maybe I’m doing to much or does he/she still wanna be with me an all the extra. Now what if that other person made you feel the same way the first one did. Your on top of the world and you really found your one , then the next day you find out he/she is seeing some one else. Your clueless. Your in a box it’s almost like being in the prison cells , it’s small nowhere for you to go, it’s no where for you to think and everything you do or say remind you of your past. Your really going to be broken , the saddest part is that it’s not your fault that your now like this , whoever is stepping into your life now has a huge toll on you at this point in showing you what you truly deserve. It just has to be That one person. Some say wait till your older to get into all of this so  you will become smarter and wiser but no I believe that if you go through these kinds of things now you may be strong enough to handle them when your older if someone step in an can show you different. Who makes you happy ? That’s what matters. But you cannot be happy but miserable, you can’t choose both , you can’t act like you not having problems in your relationships. You cannot ignore the arguments. You can’t name not one perfect relationship, it takes hard time an compassion for someone you really want and you know if you really want them or not. Really try to ignore your “right now” feelings and think hard about the person your with or want to be with. Look at the big picture, do they fit your lifestyle is this someone you can see your self with years from now. An some will say oh your too young and it’s not gonna Work an your gonna meet so many new people! No FUCK THAT! Just Because your relationships didn’t work or ya mamas or daddy’s or cousins or aunts don’t mean you gotta talk down on mine. If we both want it we will do whatever it takes. All these 1 year plus couple you think they had a smooth ride ? Hell no. You think they went the whole time without atleast trying to see other people or be friends or take breaks ? No it’s not logical. But at the end of the day if that’s who you want you have to fight for it . The only time the circumstance are different is when the other person truly doesn’t feel the same way you feel for them , ok maybe they don’t see a future with you two. At that point you can’t force it , they may have met your standards but you didn’t meet theirs. It be like that some times an that’s ok , moving on is a hard process and it’s going to take time. But if that’s what it takes to find who you truly want then so be it. I’ve been in lots of these predicaments my self , I myself have been damaged or felt like I was in a box therefore I didn’t care what a female had to say to me it was just you wanna fuck or not. That was my way that I tried to get through the pain and it was hard an I don’t tell people that often. You know things like that kind of make you not even interested in yourself no more , more like just losing confidence in yourself. People say that’s easy to overcome but ain’t never had to sit there an be the victim. It’s crazy. Today I’m a much different person than I use to be as far as talking to females , I actually try to get to know people , I laugh an smile a lot to you know cover the damages that’s already been done knowing at the end of the day I’m just really hoping for a fresh start , I found someone. No one really new to my life but we wasn’t that close either because we had past altercations which considered me not really caring for her because of the times i was in. I can say maybe we both were looking for the same thing but did it to fast. We started off great we talked about a few things but we missed a whole big piece , our full trust and friendship. Being comfortable with one another , that can take a huge toll on your relationship because that’s not something that can you just pass up. It’s highly important to get those things figured out first before trying to force it and rush it. I know this girl make me happy right now , we have our ups and downs like everybody else but what we were missing is the friendship, don’t mean you have to just dismiss the whole relationship after that but it’s safe to say you should stand back for a second and ask your self ok what needs to be done to make this work.