To the Ones I Can't Hate

What do my feelings mean to you?

Do you really think that it doesn’t sting?

When you send me pick-up lines,

Just for my reaction

A reaction I cannot control,

My emotions being pulled like puppet strings,

And you are the marionette,

My face flushes,

And of course you find it comical

You mock me,

Oblivious to how I truly feel,

“Oh you’re blushing, now I know that it’ll work for real”

As if I was simply a cold metal being,

Existing only to gauge emotion,

But I am not your thermometer,

I do not gauge my heart each time,

Simply because you need an accurate reading,

Or because of how it can make you laugh,

I have never made a travesty of love

Why are my walls so high?

The safer to protect myself with,

Yet every time I speak to you, 

You manage to bring them down,

To wound me, then,

leave me,

Telling me it was for my own good

The person I can’t hate,

The one who gave me a half drunk confession of love,

The one who gave me hope for love after such a dark time,

The one who was just as much of a mistake as the one before,

And before,

And before