Only because of you

It all starts at such a young age. That curiosity, that need to know feeling. Some of us are lucky enough to experience the maternal, the paternal love from the very start. Such a pure bond. Such a selfless sacrifice. It's a single touch. It's the simplest sound. It's the life I breathed in all around me. And in that moment, in the very beginning, it is pure innocence. Then comes the adolescence. The confusion of life begins to set in. And that once innocent curiosity, that need to know feeling... It takes over completely. It's no longer the love from a mother. I've begun to search for something more, something like I've never felt before. I changed myself, I shaped myself, molded myself to be that person I thought someone else would love. But his eyes? They were never on me. His heart? It was never for me. This feeling I longed so deeply to feel I felt I'd never feel at all. So much time I wasted. I was invisible in this world. I was invisible in his world. I was alone, betrayed by a boy I barely even knew. I doubted myself. I outed myself. I thought: this is what love does to you. But I went on, because that thing I used to think was love was what kept me pushing through. I never realized how wrong I was until the day life gave me you. And in your eyes I saw it all; the future, the truth, the answer to all my life's questions. I forgot my pain. I forgot my woes. You and I were all that mattered, all that existed. And we could say it all without ever even saying a word. My heart had been so heavy, and the light was leaving my life..But I picked myself back up, knowing I could endure every struggle that I was given in life... Because I loved you. I pushed myself to be better... Because I loved you. I lived my life to the fullest, knowing everyday was a blessing... Because I loved you. And when I continued to lose my way again and again, you were always there to guide me... Because you loved me. You always forgave me... Because you loved me. You were always there, even when you knew it wasn't fair. And it was all because you loved me. Now, here I sit alone again, next to another empty shell I secretly wish was you. Call me crazy, but now I know: this is what love truly does to you. This time is different. I will continue grow and this time my light will not fade. But what they'll never know is that I'll only continue to grow because, deep down, I'll always have the memory of loving you.

This poem is about: 
Me

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