Only human

Do you know what it's like to live a secreted life an every one around don't know the struggle you had to live through pay to put your little sister in school pay for the test the book when they due who had a hard life but luck up an ment some guy who really care just too broke to put her on top so I forked thier bill pay the rent when Its due pay for the school my little girl go to pay for the present pay for that dinner send money when they need hit you up like sis I need it but she got that degree in he got a better job an they have a baby name after me men it felt good the hustle was a bar at time it was hard the pay was great finnese my way then it's mommy can we go to the movie I want my nails done too dad ask how are you tell him I been good ain't heard from you in years so how do I begin tell you that your little girl ain't little no more so I lair for you pretend my life been perfectly splendid with minor dent I'm still your sweet little girl not a blemish on my soul I lair to protect the one I love from the thing that would hurt them the most none of them know aunt uncle but my mom don't even care she to high to even glare at the truth she make her own up like she didn't put me here just say you do what ya got to do you could have been worst off then here but they don't every ask how you do it an even if they did I just bend the truth a little bit an it's crazy how the one who know don't even give you your flowers to help you feel that glow when you fellin low an sometime it was to much to handle I thank God I am in a better place an he put someone in my life to carry this weight lift it off my shoulders so I ain't gotta liar no more I am free to be me but still inside I should be happy but I feel guilty for loving someone else don't get me wrong I love him best meaning he gets the best of me but I can't get over the one before not my ex but the one I put my soul into the one thing I couldn't give him because it belong to you an well never be as close as we should be he knows some of my deepest secrets but not all of them he help me to but damn I miss the fuck out of you does this make a bad person or does this make a human but I guess that's why I do the most I go harder then most I stay on my shit he say I a goddess I say boy you got it an wink because at the end of the day I guess you lost not your queen but your goddess I want to be all that for you but you could only see the hustle an lost focused of the truth the girl that you once knew the one he saw an was like hey little girl I see an he gave me my flower he told me he got me an that I am his goddess and I don't got to worry about a thing I just wish it came from you an you may think I horrible for even lovein you still but the felling was deep years went in to us an untill you walk in my sheo an felt what I felt don't speak on my felling an trust me he great he knows I got him till the end an that's why me an him can't even be friends on my end because I still love him I gave you a window because two year can't amount to the 11 years we put in but you close it so I gotta let it burn because I found the one who was thier when you left me in that dark place an if I could not feel for you I would nah I take that back I would because unlike you I admit I wouldn't be who I am I couldn't of made it through those nights seen past the day if you weren't flying paper airplane my way if you weren't telling me I be okay if I couldn't vent if you were always near by to make sure I win I don't regret you I just wish thing turn out different for us I wish you got to hold the beautiful flower you help grow and all never be the same an I do it all again hope that the end would be us to much history love