Only if you knew

Only if you knew

what had happened 

maybe you would understand who I am today

why I do the things I do now

Only if you knew

why I fell so deep into sadness

why I felt worthless

why I was so mean

Only if you knew 

one moment...

could change a whole lifes' perception

Only if you knew

a trauma so dramatic 

caused my brain to protect itself and "forget"

Only if you knew 

when I see it

I relapse

I lash out

I finally fight for myself

Only if you knew

childhood trauma can effect to this day

Only if you knew

I see it and hear it everyday of my life 

Only if you knew 

you wont, you never will

keeping it inside keeps the insanity in

but I will never share

in-order to protect the ones I love

Only if you knew