Only Sleeping
To the victim of depression,
You look so peaceful sleeping,
A ghost of a smile across your face.
The phantom memories of the previous years
Play through my mind like an old movie,
Full of love and cliché mirages of dates and kisses on rewind.
They dance gently,
In their wake triggering more memories
And stepping gracefully on heartstrings.
I do not cry.
My villains have been defeated.
Destroyed.
The monsters that once plagued me
Are now torn and vanquished,
Running away from the monster they in turn created.
I'm now scarier than the nightmares that once scared me.
But every evil feels pain as well.
Years of torment may have toughened me,
But seeing you now in the state of eternal peace,
I find it hard to breathe properly.
I choke,
Unable to find the words to say
In such a horrible event that seems too damn innocent.
What saddens me is that you left
Before you could see your own demons decay
In a heap of pale skin and rotting flesh
That might have once been human as well.
Your inner bomb went off prematurely,
Countdown speed spiking with every beating
Until what should have been a long and full life imploded on itself.
I begin to wonder if this would have been easier
If your body was mangled and unrecognizable.
Maybe it wouldn't look so much like you we're only sleeping.
It would kill off any glimmer of hope that you would soon open your eyes,
Rested and smiling.
And we'd live on like any other day.
Not dead.
Only sleeping.
Not gone.
Only absent.
As they lower your casket into the ground
I finally let lose a single tear
That rolls down my cheek and falls to the grass.
Not sleeping.
Dead.
You're gone.
Not just absent.
I cry.
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