An Open Letter to the World

Dear World,

I am tired

I am completely and utterly tired of you

My knuckles turn white and my blood runs cold

At the thought of walking home

I was asking for it

I was too drunk

I shouldn’t have been all alone

These justifications run through my mind- where did I go wrong?

Monsters roam the alleys

They don’t need a mask

A black hoodie will do just fine and a little ants in their chaps

My mother used to tell me to bun my hair up so I could easily play

But times have changed

Putting my hair up is step one to prevention

To ensure my panties aren’t dangling around my ankles

Or that my crotch doesn’t have an aching sensation

I’d rather burn

My sister told me to wear shorts because it was 93 degrees outside

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping

She assured me today was gonna be alright

But my eyes shot her a no

Combusting in the heat sounds a lot better than in the hands of a man who would pull me off the street

This is step two

You never dress for you

World, I ask

Why can’t you just keep it in your pants?

Why do I have to be scared to have a daughter

or a son

Who’ll end up falling in a trance for the flesh of a woman

In the darkness, you come out to me

With the reek of alcohol on your lips

The moon glistens in disgust

As your eyes scan my body

And your hands explore around my hips

My last resort is to tell you another man already owns me

Because you can’t comprehend a simple no

A command even dogs can follow

Step three is my favorite

Maybe he’ll leave at the sound of another man’s name anchored to mine

He stays

World, what have you done

The years of self-defense and the pepper spray in my hand can’t save me now

He’s taken purity I can’t replace

He’s got my blood on his hands and stains I can’t erase

People tell me not to think too much of it

Social media urges to me fight against it

This is the age of feminism for God’s sake- use it

There’s an entire universe out there that doesn’t breed fear and anxiety

But there isn’t a world

Without the sinister thought of you in it