Opening eyes

Anorexia is standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs as if you are facing life or death and still taking the stairs so that death feels a little bit closer.

Like a game, you gain the ultimate control, yet you loose it all. 

The control of life or death, the control of being dead but somehow still functioning enough to be considered alive.

Anorexia is looking in the mirror and being so disgusted at how fat you look. Overwhelmed with guilt and the voices of your loved ones helplessness yet you still can't eat or keep anything down.

Anorexia is not knowing which or when it's you talking... a constant voice of denial, saying "I'm not sick." Because you're not dead and because anorexia wants you that much closer to the end. 

Anorexia is not the desire to be thin, but the desire to alter your appearance to fit the size of your self worth.

Anorexia is the result of the belittlement one feels, reflected on the outside. Anorexia is an addictive solace of control, a high to a person who feels out of control in this world. 

Anorexia is not trying to loose weight, but struggling to gain just one kilo.

Anorexia is not superficiality it is in fact the opposite.

Anorexia is not achieving a goal weight, it is feeling like you want to weigh nothing at all.

Next time someone wants to approach someone with an eating disorder and say things like "life's not about being skinny" I suggest they consider that malnourishment of ones self to the point of going to sleep every night not knowing if tomorrow will come, is much more extreme and completely contradicts a person being superficial and wanting to live a long healthy life with a small figure.