Our Journey

Dear T, 

It all started because I felt bold, 

Bold enough to text a boy I did not know, 

A boy who seemed to have everything together. 

Conversations were great, endless and meaningful. 

I felt like we were connecting,

An electric spark of possiblity.

Little did I know, that would all change.

Some time passed, and I was boarding a flight back home. 

The family vacation was terrible and messy, but at least I had you. 

I turned on my phone, only to see find images I will never forget.

There you were with her. 

The girl you said hurt you,

The girl you said was toxic,  

The girl you said you were over,

Yet, you and her were together, alone. 

You both looked so happy, sharing jokes only the two of you knew. 

I felt the hard ball of jealousy and sadness form in my chest.

The salty tears flowed down my face, 

The bitter taste of "what if's" lingered in my mouth. 

You hurt me, yet you didn't care. 

I cut you off, hoping that by some miracle you'd chase after me, 

But you didn't. 

You let me feel alone,

You let me feel the hurt and betrayal, 

You let me go. 

More time has passed, and we're friends again. 

How, oh how, did you convince me to talk to you? 

You caused me to feel so insecure and hurt, 

Yet, we're laughing like old pals. 

You confuse me. 

With your kind words and stupid jokes, I started to forget about the past. 

I can only think of a future with you. 

The days blended together into one big blur, and now we're together, 

Happy and carefree. 

How did we go from not talking and being stranger to being in love?

My skepticism is on high alert.

Although radiant with happiness, 

Our bright glow can't conceal the past. 

The hurt, 

The anger, 

The insecurity. 

I wish to stop and focus on the now, 

Be present with you, but I can't. 

That girl is still present and everytime I see her, I relive that awful day. 

I tell you my concerns, yet your sweet talk confuses me more. 

I won't question or fight anymore.

What's meant to be will be. 

But alas, this was our journey. 

Sincerely, Alysha.