Our Struggles

The days are just memories now.

The days in which we just wanted the tragedy of the past to end,

to begin, something new with real smiles and illusions. 

My smile shone as much as the light in your eyes when I first kissed you. 

The taste of a new beginning, a new motivation, 

it was all there. 

You gave me the strength and you knew that,

but you didn't know how easily

you took it away at the same time. 

You also didn't know how much I loved you,

Cared for you, and really wanted to be with you. 

We were in love. 

Or were we?

You believed what others told you instead of what I said. 

You trusted them all the time

without any proof; you didn't see how my heart was falling apart. 

You saw me as someone I'm not, 

someone who never existed. 

I never cared about what people say,

but if the words came out of your mouth,

I cared. 

The sky and the clouds are now colored in gray. 

They're colored in an ugly way,

as if a child colored a page in his coloring book.

Just learning how to control the movements of his hands still. 

With the rain and the pain mixed in,

red and blue lightning,

striking my chest, anger and sorrow. 

It led to something I regret to this day. 

I compared you to someone you clearly are not

because the rage inside me didn't let me think; it took over. 

You chose to let me go. 

You put a dagger in my heart,

by saying it's over between us. 

My life was in a wretched place. 

I'm not perfect, but I've learned. 

I'm sorry for saying things I didn't mean. 

I'm sorry for the hurt I brought you. 

I hope you believe me,

but mainly..

forgive me.