out of body and out of mind

Is it possible to disassociate from yourself? 



I feel like I'm dead, out of my body,

someone else is piloting the vessel 

and I, a silent bystander, unable to interfere.

I think I have given up.

I watch as things happen around me 

and I watch as I move through life,

functioning just enough to get by,

but I never try anymore. 

I think I've stopped feeling.

I am void of emotion, sensation, and depth.

I feel so disconnected from what makes me human.

I no longer feel want, pain, or even hunger. 

I don't feel that I'm living my life,

just watching my existence in the third person.

I take pills just to sleep.

I get high just to eat. 

I drink just to feel. 

I don't even move unless I have to.

I can't even grieve or feel love. 

Last week I was constantly on the verge of tears,

now I don't think I'm even able to cry.