Outloud Thoughts

I'm thinking back to when things seemed so beautiful When there seemed as if there was no dark clouds in the night sky I'm remembering laying outside on a blanket under the stars Before another moment passes, I realize I've begun to cry. I'm thinking back to the days with nothing but sunshine Days and nights without a moment looking as if it would rain I wish we could return to that place right this very instant The silence is so loud that I'm slowly going insane. I can still see our beginning as if it was only yesterday Almost as if we're no more than little kids once again Yet sadly, I can also clearly see the ending of all that we were I guess as much as we deny it, our love was just a tragic sin. I'm keeping it as real as it could have ever truly have been kept I can't come any other way than honest and straight from my heart I'm trying to make sure there's never no doubt in your head As hard as I fight to keep it together, I seem to keep falling apart. I'm reminiscing on forever ago when I first fell for you Staying in the shadows in silence afraid to let my feelings show Watching the years pass by, mouth shut never giving a clue or hint Yet always secretly praying that somehow you would just know. Thinking back over the days and years you didn't even know I exist Always thinking to myself how wonderful if only I could make you see Making each day and night worth every chance we ever lost When together it's obvious somehow you and I set one another free. Thinking back to the start darling, before our time even started Then when the chance arrived it was simply just sink or swim We always seemed to march to the beat of our own drum Only cared for each other, never gave a second thought to the likes of them. I'm thinking back to a lifetime you probably don't even have a clue about A time that your memory banks just won't allow such memories to occur But I swear I know there's no second-guessing that it's always been you A nervous giggle and a tear is all I can muster for courage to say that I'm sure. I have such clear thoughts about what we used to be that's so long past us now I hold back tears thinking we almost let go of our second chance Both of us have to let go of our foolish and damn stubborn pride If we can't learn to bend for this love it becomes a victim of circumstance. I'm thinking back to lonely days lived that way because of our fears Both scared to open our mouths and say that we should just give us a try So foolish, because by the time we took that chance the damage was already great Causing us to not put forth much effort which almost caused a goodbye. Thinking back it's hard believing that someone young could feel so very strong Hard to believe possible, harder to believe that it wouldn't tragic But your soul and mine speak and our hearts often beat fully tune Telling me it's meant to be, love that's so perfect, it's even better to me than magic. June 21, 2020