over and over again

May 9, 2013

weakness in my lungs in my ribs and I don’t want to understand “Here we go again!” I’ve been over this in my head thousands of times: I’m safe, I’m okay, it’s not going to happen again, no one’s going to hurt me. and yet there I go I lose all control over my body and my breathing and all I can do is wait trapped in these bones and waiting out my sentence as a convict, a prisoner in my own mind. through the bars I see light but it’s hard to believe in it the way I believe in fear.

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TargaryenGirl

My name is Alena, and I’m a Creative Writing major and Philosophy minor in the first semester of my sophomore year at New England College. After college I’ll probably do Peace Corps or something along those lines, and then go to grad school to get my MFA in Poetry. When I grow up (never!) I wanna be a travel writer— think Anthony Bourdain, but a little cuter and a lot less drunk. I enjoy writing and performing poetry, feminism-ing, fangirling, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny (which usually I’ve just told), procrastinating homework in favor of blogging, and sing-yelling to Mumford & Sons songs and show tunes with my friends.

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