From the time you are born to the moment you die,
You’re stuck inside of your body,
And the mere thought of that used to make me cry.
Why do I look like this?
Oh God, I hate myself,
Thoughts like this are ones I won’t miss.
From crying myself to sleep,
To getting dressed in the dark ,
Its a blessing that i was able to crawl out of a hole that deep.
Not enough eating,
Too much exercise,
I lost weight, but my mind and body suffered a beating.
The agony from my stomachs cries,
The tears pouring from my sore eyes,
Everyday I’d wake up, I just wanted to die.
Day after day losing more and more weight,
I still saw myself the same and i couldn’t accept that fate.
Years of inner battle,
years of self torture,
In 2016, I decided to tattle.
I told my mother about all that I went through,
She was so distraught that as a mother she had no clue.
From that day on is when real change occurred,
I got the help I needed and learned to love myself,
The idea that I could love myself sounded absurd.
I was in a dark place for such a long time,
I feared the feeling of coming up,
Now it’s 2019 and my mindset is of sublime.
I’ve overcame the trauma,
Ridding my mind of the self hate,
When i think of the old times it just plays like a cyclorama.
No longer causing me pain or distress,
I’ve surpassed that stage of my life,
Overcoming the fear happiness is one I will never again suppress.