overthinking

1:06pm

(11/16/2019)

i don’t like this.

like im tired of being sad,

and i can’t find happiness.

maybe because it was in you

and i had put too much faith and hope into you.

that you would be different.

that those late night conversations were all truth.

that you were genuine in your feelings.

but at the end of the day,

you’re still just a kid.

& i never know what you’re going through.

though i try to search your mind and help you out of your black hole,

you have pushed me away.

i think around this time i should be use to it.

but i know no self-control,

and i don’t understand why you won’t come back,

but i feel like you’re trying to push me away,

so you won’t have to remember me

and was this all just a buildup 

because one night shouldn’t have brought us to this,

and one decision shouldn’t have sealed this fate,

sealed my sadness.

can’t you see i’m happy to talk to you.

and you don’t want my nice words,

and you think i hate you,

and you hate you,

but te quiero every part of you.

and my universe is yours to have.

there’s a disconnect though,

knowing me i’m trying my hardest to get yout attention.

i literally don’t want other people.

i thought you were different.

but at the end of the day, maybe it’s not you talking 

maybe it’s inner you.