P is for Presence

P is for Presence. Presence is needed for a father, that is the essence.

Imagine a growing boy without a father figure. It's like Christmas without presents.

It's not the same. Hatred and anger swell in the boy.

Poised, ready to strike. Boy, avoid the void in your heart that you feel.

Whatever emotion you feel, supress it, it's not real.

Luckily, this only lasted not less than a year.

Because you came into my life, made my mom your wife, and took me in as a son.

There's no way I can repay you but here's a little thank you.

Thank you for teaching me what I know, and saving me from before.

But I can't help this dreaded feeling of "I don't know."

Because when I look in the mirror, I just see genes looking back.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is what I'm told,

So the story of my being my bio father has been sold.

But God knows when I think about it, my room gets cold.

The inner demons passed down from him get a grip on my soul.

Drugs and abuse, those demons are seeping through my pores.

I can't even look at the big windows you see at the store.

Because where your blue eyes are, brown eyes are bored into my head.

There's no feeling worse than thinking about your identity when you hit the bed.

My biggest fear is that I wont be able to grow into your shoes.

But I gotta be strong for my sisters and momma too. I learned that from you.

I learned to value my life more and work hard to provide like you do.

I learned to stay true to myself, and think with my head, rather than my bum.

I learned that pearls before a swine means nothing.

Because all you ever did was treat me right, and I did you wrong.

And yet, you continue to have hope for me when I lost it.

Your investing too much on your dumb son, yet your not worried about the profit.

Now, I'm no prophet, but with God on my side, I promise to make you proud of me.

I can't wait for you to see that Dad.

P is for Presence. Presence is needed for a father, that is the essence.

Imagine a growing boy without a father figure. It's like Christmas without presents.

It's not the same. Hatred and anger swell in the boy.

Poised, ready to strike. Boy, avoid the void in the heart that you feel.

Whatever emotion you feel, supress it, it's not real.

Luckily, this only lasted not less than a year.

Because you came into my life, made my mom your wife, and took me as a son.

There's no way I can repay you but here's a little thank you.