Pain

It's painful

That helps

Not really

To describe it

Seems a little

Silly

For me

Pain is

Your heart

I want

To throw it 

Away sometimes

Because too often

I walk 

That very fine line

Where it's love

Or it's bitterness

Memories

Or past mistakes

The fact that

I can't not cry

Irks me

So much

That I

Can't help

But sigh

I'm ignored

My problems

Don't matter

Only becasuue

I am the

Oldest

And it hurts

It aches

It stings

To know

You're pushed

To the side

And forced

To make

Sacrifices 

For others

When you

Weren't given

A choice at all

It doesn't matter

If I'm hurt

By my own blood

The fault will be

Mine of course

That's how it 

Always is

And yet

It never fails

To make me hurt

There's nothing

For me to hold

Here at home

Where you 

Can always

Find me alone

In my room

Or in a corner

Quiet and weary

Out of your sight

So very tired

Is this girl

She gets so 

Depressed

At times

She thinks

How could

Anyone

Lover her

At all

It's easy

To believe

At certain times

But other times

It all seems

To disappear

And the girl

Timid and scared

Deep inside

Feels that

Lonely fear.