pain

I love him.

That's all I could say

No matter the hurt or pain

I let myself believe that I desreved everything he put me through

Lies I told my family

The lies I told myself

Thinking it's ok 

Just beause I loved him

I screamed I didnt care

Because he was holding me

No person in the room can take my attention off of him

But why? 

Why did I want to love so bad?

What was I chasing?

Because at the end of the day I wasn't loved back.

I wasn't cared for.

I told myself it was all in my head that I was crazy.

But he still let himself in without trying,

Just the thought of him made me happy and scared all at the same time

I love him. 

I love him. 

That's all I could say.

No advice would help

No one can help

because I was inlove

but I was not happy.

I told myself this is the last time.

The last time I'll forgive 

the truth finally became clear

forgivness turned to anger

and love turned to hate

but I STILL could not let go

what was I holding onto?

There's no love. Just me alone with my thought and sorrow.

 I wiped my tears but the tears became blood, 

Dripping down my leg as the tear dripped from my face. 

I don't deserve this yet I stayed.

No matter the bruises or harm 

I stayed.

The hands wrapped around my waiste 

soon became wrapped around neck

No matter the bruises or harm I stayed

The love that was supposed to be meant for me was meant for somebody else

No matter the harm no matter the bruises I stayed

I love him that's all I could say.

Why do we love when there's no happiness?

whats the point?

but it didn't matter.

As long as I was with him. 

I love him.

Does that make it ok?

I love him.

but he doesn't love him but that's ok

because I love him.