Pain

What do you call it when all you feel is pain? When your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame? When your tired of living and playing this game? when you know your life is meaningless and your the only one to blame? What do you call it when the hurt is in your soul? When you smile and laugh but you know its all a show? When you feel like you've hit your all time low? When nothing makes you happy and the darkness around you grows? What do you call it when you feel so alone? When your in your house but it don't feel like home? When you look back in your life and every choice you made now seems wrong? When the wait to die seems too long.