Pain For A Moment/My Calypso

My hate is embedded in a never said promise
You never made that promise
You never said a word.
I now see I wanted what you could have never provided,
you could never provide.
Never provided for me.
I'm sinking and you do not see,
you do not see me,
not the real me anyway.
Anyways, we'll move on
move on in this hate.
Pounding the life out of the door
remember that crack you bore...
why's it have to come to this?
Eyes brightest blue,
empty grey and through.
You'd think these harmonies could escalate
swell up the being, the beast
that should be dead.
But you kept yelling ,"No.
Not Now."
Not ever is what I heard.
You locked yourself up in a fortress prison
and to think I polished the metal.
Your words were daggers,
my feet ran faster,
to a place you couldn't hold me.
You can't me,
can't hold me,
hold me.
Why did it have to be like this?
My eyes are blackened,
the faults are pointed fingers
and sorrowed souls.
So much time wasted,
we can never have back.
I weep the dead,
what is dead,
we are dead.
What future?!
What hope springs?
Little laughs and murmurs,
little side-steps and humors,
fade with me.
fade with me.
Why you love so openly?
So much more room to be destroyed.
I feel nothing.
Words lose their meaning,
and luster.
This new news has gotten you all
flustered.
Someone lend a helping hand,
lend what I can't.
I'm so broken,
so broken,
and broken.
Remember those nights you punched and screamed?
Remember me,
watching from the screen, from the stairs, from down the street.
Sorrys don't fix this,
you can never fix this...
and neither can I.
I'm lost inside, father.
You long to know me,
search me,
find me.
I wish I could have shown you,
what a little girl I was.
what a little girl I am.
But I am a closed book.
What's the point of reading?
When you can just see...
arms dropped to the side,
head bent,
there's knots in the back.
Does this joy
overcome the pain?
Does this new finding
cover up the sentence I've kept hidden away?
Show me the way,
show me the Light.
I know,
or at least one day I'll know,
 there isn't a reason to fight...
anymore.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741