The Pain You Caused

Dear Jarod,

You were something toxic

So much more than just average

The way you smiled

Felt like something of privilege

I felt so unworthy

You made me such a chore.

You were cruel

Always finding a reason to push me around

You looked like an angel though

So I always felt the need to be kicked to the ground.

But as time has passed and the wounds have healed

I wonder if the pain was ever real.

Now that I see past it

And I no longer see your deception

I wonder why I never saw it clearer before.

All those names and all the pain you caused

Those things were never my fault

The things you did were never a reaction to things I caused

Those things were the lies you made me believe.

You are something I strive everyday not to be

But I still wonder how you are and maybe I still care.

Yet I will never allow myself to be controlled by a person like you ever again.

So though you may cross my mind

And though you maybe the reason for who I am today

I will wish you happiness from a far

Even if you do wish for my self destruction.

Sincerely,

Someone you destroyed