The Pangs of Anxiety

I woke up that morning

The first day of school all nervous and anxious

I told my parents I hated this school

Everyday waking up, no friends, no love from anyone there

I went to school that day and the pain started

A pang in my chest going thump, thump, thump

I knew it wasn't my heart it was my soul

It wasn't at peace

Everyday my chest would pang when I was at school

Everyday, anxiety written, scared, alone

I couldn't wait to go home everyday

I couldn't wait to go away

My parents wanted me to stay in this school saying, "it is a great school"

I disagreed

My peers were mean and talked very about me ehind my back

They envied me because of my athleticism everyone told me

I didn't care, I kept feeling this pang

I couldn't take this pain anymore and decided the only way to stop this was to kill myself

I went home that day and grabbed a knife and put it to my chest right where the pang was

I thought of all the evil kids and people that made fun of me

All of the people that made my life hell

As I was about to drive the knife into my chest, something stopped me

It was a strange force

I then though about my family, my little brothers, my mother and fath

My grandparents and aunts and uncles

What would happened if I killed myself

They would be sad and distrought

My actions would greatly impact them

I put down the knife and realized what I was about to do was wrong

I pangs countinued everyday, and the pain remained

The children that said mean things continued 

But what didn't stay the same was how I channeled them out

I was now find solice in my sports and family

I would play soccer and hangout with my family more

I realized that not everyone in my school was a jerk

I made many friends

I enjoyed life

I look back on that day 3 years ago and thank myself

And God for stopping me 

Stopping me from doing somehting stupid, impulsive and irrational

I love life

I wake up everyday, and although the pangs were still there

I learned to live with them 

And channel them out