Paradigm Shift

Muffled! I was always muffled... who am I, who could I have been? How can it take – 41 years to erase... it...a person? How could I believe love with could be a sin? And how could it take 41 years to realize...that I'm bi... yes bi...sex – ual. We seem to only understand what we see. For 41 years, I was a different version of me...trying to be - like them… All of them - trying to be like Him...or who "they" told us to believe....achieve...life forever, unless of course eternity was never meant for the gay... in me! What I don't understand, is how I never understood- my own self...my own version of me. It was like the evil version, something some...one created out of some...thing...so pure. So I take up my pen and write the word-LOVE...because, because, because of butterflies and because of you and maybe her too. I never knew until your-you showed my-you who I-you could be...if I was possibly free. Third times a charm. I haven't been bad, so I'll listen to the words in my memories, that glistened off your lips. Realizing it's all a fucking trap....ADAPT! Be "them" not you...although they believe the world is still flat. In fact, I'm not worried about eternity! Because you see... we're in it! And I don't think life is a life-sentence...anymore. May I explore... those thighs with my self-described "little man hands" just down my arm that holds the truth. My "strong woman tattoo". With lipstick, with mascara, but too gay to keep myself from telling myself that it's not OK. In spite of what "they" say. Who are even "they"? Is it the one's that pray? It's ok! I've also seen them prey...so really it's ok to just be fucking gay!