Paradox

Is it called suicidal if it’s not

right this minute that you want to die?

I have a lot to look forward to.

It’s just that, sometimes, I don’t particularly

like the idea of living to become an adult.

See, I laugh. A lot.

Many things are funny.

But I am also in that fragile state

where I burst into tears

upon seeing a condom on the ground,

and I don’t think that’s healthy.

And, you see, sometimes I’ve fantasised

About what my note would look like, and

The methods I would use. But not yet.

I have happy things in my life now,

It’s funny how most people die to

Escape the past, if not the present.

But I have a funny feeling that, at some point,

I’ll die to escape the future.

Hello, death.

I’ll see you in

A few years.

Wait for me.