Paralyzed

I spoke out; confident. My face gleamed in happiness

I blinked. My heart stopped.

My lungs forgot how to breathe, my face sank into darkness.

Slow motion: how the moments played.

Words struggled to form

Her eyes. His eyes. Their eyes; all glared. Red. Evil. Hatred.

Solom music played in my head. I fell to my knees; terrifed.

Judgement. From my family. family. family.

Once upon a time I was happy. Today I am paralyzed.

No trust. No support. No belief.

Inside a hurricane of emotions sworms. Alone.

How the world consumes you when you're forced to deal

on your own. On my own.

A place I never thought I would be.

I search the sky of lights for trust, for love. But I come up empty handed

Empty hearted. Empty inside.

How to trust when there is none?

How to love when I feel none?

I stand paralyzed as judgment eyes scan me, offering nothing but regret.

Definition of unhealthy.