Parents

Let me be thankful,

Thankful for the ones who brought me into this beautiful world where people are able to pursue the things, they so dearly desire.

So, let me be thankful,

Thankful for the people who took on the pain and burden of raising two children for fifteen brutal years of their lives.

Let me be thankful,

Thankful for the people who pushed me to go further, to try harder, all so that I could have a better life.

So, as I am now, why can’t I be thankful for my parents?

Why can’t I be thankful for the people who would keep me up at night studying just to barely reach their endless expectations?

Thankful for the people who made me follow their, strict regulations that left no room for my aspirations and were the root of my frustrations, leaving me, wide open for so many different complications.

They supported equality for all,

old or young, big or small.

 But then said I needed to keep my mouth shut bcs opinion because it didn’t matter.

 And at that moment my heart did shatter.

They made me their toy who followed every rule,

I wasn’t a person but merely a tool,

For them to force upon their every ideal

Regardless of what I think and how I feel

Without desire or the will to choose.

I never expressed my views.

I was a puppet dangling on a string

With no voice of my own

I was a pitiful sad thing

That the world wants to disown.

I stayed silent for every day.

And that’s when it stopped being okay.

The emotions started to rise.

And I wanted it to stop.

I wanted it all to stop.

And I made choices as my tears dropped.

They were the people who were supposed to care,

The people who should have been there.

They were the people who should have noticed when something was wrong,

The people who should have helped me to be strong.

But they didn’t.

They didn’t notice.

They never realized why I was hiding in my room.

They never knew I was really wearing a costume.

To hide the sadness.

To hide the tide of emotions that was dragging me to madness.

They forced me into following their commands,

into meeting their demands.

They never understood what I was going through,

 never understood what they were driving me to.

 All they saw was the obedient slave,

when their love and affection was all I craved.

They thought rebellion and misbehavior were one and the same.

They could never fathom that perhaps they were to blame.

 They never heard my silent tears in the dead of night.

They never knew the things I feared when I turned out the lights.

Shouldn’t they have tried harder?

Couldn’t they have done more?

A proper childhood was all I wanted for.

For the life I now live they leave me unprepared.

So, was it wrong to have wanted people who cared?