Part Three of the Soliloquy - Damnation

Dear God,I don’t understand my purpose,I don’t even know what’s destined for me, I don’t know why you have given me this life,But can you help me understand?Can you lead me down a path,Regardless of trials or tribulations,To become the woman I’m supposed to?Why did you give me this skin?Why did you give me this hair?Why did you give me this body?Why did you give me this history?Why did you give me this pain? I feel lost God,I truly do.I don’t understand how I’m to create an impact,Or even induce change,In such a world,Where “peace” and “unity”,Are as distant as Jupiter and neighboring galaxies. My ancestors paid the price of death,For a country that disrespects those lives,But will honor a militant,Honor a president, Honor false idols,Honor themselves,Neglecting the start of such honor. God, what do you want me to do?Everyone wants peace,Everyone wants unity,Everyone wants justice,Everyone wants change,But it won’t come,No matter how many marches or protests,No matter how many petitions or rallies,No matter how many Instagram or Twitter posts,No matter how many written or digital articles,No matter how many complaints or disputes,No matter how many tears or deaths,No matter how many heartbreaks or headaches,No matter how many celebrities or donations,No matter how many videos or pictures,Nothing,Ever,Changes. So, God?Why did you create activists?What can they do?Besides scream the same screams,Or shout the same shouts,To ears that’ll never listen,To eyes that’ll never see,To souls that’ll never feel,The reasons for our insanity,The reasons for our anger,The reasons for our depression,The reasons for our defeat,It’s pointless. I feel completely defeated,I want to make an impact,But I just can’t,I have no direction,I have no execution,But I do have motive,I do have experience,I do have an idea,But what can I do?What can someone like me,Do to a world destined for damnation,To a world poisoned with hate and racism,Misogyny and sexism,Homophobia and colorism,Who am I,To stop things like that,When I can barely stand up for myself? God,Please help me,For I feel as if I’m falling,In a space of oblivion,Where the concepts of time and space,Are nonexistent,And I am purposeless,I have no meaning,I have no significance,I have nothing. In your name Father,Steer me as you will,I don’t understand my purpose,I don’t even know what’s destined for me, I don’t know why you have given me this life,But can you help me understand?Can you lead me down a path,Regardless of trials or tribulations,To become the woman I’m supposed to? …amen. 

Poetry Slam: 
This poem is about: 
Me

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