Pass or Punk
Backpack weighing me down but I’m still
Walking down sidewalks smiling at will
Late for class but caffeine wins again
Line is too long I pray til amen
Swing my book bag over my shoulder
What will it feel like when I’m older
Will my life mean more than A’s and B’s
Run to class and feel ache in my knees
“Sorry sir it won’t happen again”
I say so many times they condemn
Just passing through classes I zone out
Thinking my family’s right to doubt
Maybe I am directionless now
Trying to move on but don’t know how
Going through the motions motionless
Stuck in this same state of hopelessness
Maybe I’ll become a punk artist
It will teach me to grow up honest
I won’t sell myself out but some shows
So maybe I will, no one else knows
The bell rings and I snap out of it
I got to the door ‘fore he said, “sit”
Thought to myself, “here we go again”
“You’re better than this” he said right then
My chest got tight and yet I felt warm
His words started to almost take form
A picture grew up in my mind’s eye
Me walking in gown below blue sky
I looked up through tears to meet his eyes
This is when it all changes or dies
I can’t keep going this losing way
Time I decide where to go or stay
Door creeks and my desk is dimly lit
Plopped down longing for another hit
I shake all the thoughts out of my head
My mind sees the picture like he said
I grab a pen off the floor below
Writing on my wrist “it’s time to grow”
I’m all done with classes for today
I guess I’ll head back to the cafe
Keep passing dozens of blank faces
How do we end up in these places
They say emptiness is fulfilling
But I feel like it’s only killing
These kids are depressed just as I am
Maybe school is the government’s scam
They want to experiment on us
How much we’ll give ‘fore we take the bus
I open the door and feel the chill
Find a seat right across from the grill
I realize I don’t have good friends
Only ever get high or the bends
Slowly killing ourselves to feel
Alive or just anything that’s real
I close my eyes and try to listen
These kids have some misguided vision
Guess we never really learn to love
We just fill that void with other stuff
Making love into some weird contest
But I like it best at its simplest
“What are you doing?” Peter asks me
I open my eyes to him standing
“I don’t think I know,” I reply low
“Trying to figure out where to go”
Pete sits next to me and sighs loudly
“You’re better than them” he says proudly
“You don’t have to know anything now”
“But, I will figure it out” I vow
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