Passing

Having chemistry first period each day was difficult.

My concentration flickered on and off.

The chemistry terms,

Symbols,

Equations

Swirled around me,

Entangling me in a web of confusion.

When one term finally made sense –

One strand of the web finally snapped –

Hundreds more chemistry terminology snared me in tighter to that web.

Test after test came.

My grade dropped consistently lower.

The web of chemistry unknowns grew exponentially.

Tests were turned in with more blank answers.

Random multiplication and division calculations were done

To see if anything rang a bell –

Not much ever did.

Tests came back as borderline passing;

Some came back as failed.

My parents said that I was not trying hard enough,

That I ought to study more.

I studied the textbook.

I studied my notes.

I studied the worksheets completed in class.

The web of perplexity decreased marginally.

Tests still came back near-failing.

Even my mom tried to teach me –

She ended up falling asleep reading the textbook.

It seemed to me that labs were the only things keeping my grade afloat.

I put more and more theories,

Explanations,

Conclusions

Into the lab to show that I understood something,

Just not everything.

Labs came back full of red marks.

“Unnecessary.”

Points deducted for leaving off something I didn’t know about.

The year wore on,

As disappointment turned to numbness.

The days became warmer.

Finals were quickly approaching us.

Family friends helped locate a chemistry tutor.

Relief spread,

Though doubt rose in my mind;

I felt dumb and un-teachable.

The tutor was a college professor,

Someone who knew what he was talking about.

A year’s worth of notes and tests were gone over;

Terms began to make more sense,

But it was too late to help.

The day of the chemistry final rolled around.

Half of the class,

Like me,

Stopped caring.

Whatever happens will happen.

We will pass, we will fail.

The tests were passed to the class:

Sixty questions in sixty minutes;

A question per minute.

Pencils scraped the test,

Scantron,

Scrap paper.

Erasers poked holes in the papers.

Cross-outs angrily made their presence known.

The clock raced.

 “Five minute warning.”

Frenzied sounds were heard around the room.

Papers crumbled in the speed of reading the questions

And writing out the answers.

Scantrons were bubbled in ferociously.

I had at least twenty questions left to answer –

I picked the prettiest answers of them all.

That year was dedicated to chemistry.

Hours wasted poring over the subject,

Nothing being learned.

Hours spent with friends as frustrated as I was.

Jokes made,

Laughter exchanged.

Smiles given to one another,

Grimaces to given the chemistry notes.

I ended that year with a 71%.

Passing.