It started long ago I guess in a time long forgot

long before I was born still in the thought of God.

I was there but not aware or at least I can’t remember

but my memory is short all year throughout December.

Sometimes a bright idea comes so unexpected

it forms where I don’t know because I can’t dissect it?

Formed within or without I can’t separate the difference

all because I’m part of everything interwoven without hindrance.

The problem is when I separate myself from all the others

that I can’t understand myself or I don’t even bother.

Contentment then rules my life and my comfort zone expands

into circles in my mind that my heart can’t mend.

Then my life seems right indeed as death takes a hold.

First take care of your own that is right I’m told.

The voice that mutters in my flesh and justifies my condition

puts me on a pedestal and leads me into submission.

Like a calf lead to the slaughter in the middle of a parade

waving and smiling at the crowd writing my own slate.

Success in sight as it appears clearly seen by me

who was struck blind long ago by my selfish greed.

All I need behind the door is rest, food and a shower

as I get hit in the head being butchered by evil powers.

Jan Wienen