A past broken heart

There were things I never told you
Things I had to apologize for
Because they didnt fit in
Because they werent me
Nor would they ever be

I apologized for things that weren't my fault
That I was too young to understand
Because society said that my body wasn't mine
It was his.

In a society that says that I'm an object
To be sexualized
Instead of a bird that can sing freely
Maya Angelou spoke of a secret
Of why the caged bird sings.

I gave into a fortress of walls
That you built for me
So that I would listen to the words you said
Instead of listening to my own understanding

Every morning I go and get the same cup of coffee
From the same place
A semblance of routine
That helped me escape
And forget your face

But I never forgot the words I didn't say
They played over and over
Breaking through chains of thoughts
Like children playing red rover.

I let you break my heart
Because I didn't know I had a choice
But its been seven years,
I'm in a body you've never touched
Gving me a reason to rejoice.

I fell for you like the autumn leaves fall from the trees
I loved you like the air
A cursed second nature
To which I did not conceed.

Every broken hearted love song
Brings you back
Every slivered glass
That pierces the skin
Shows your face in the cracks.

I've moved on and so have you
But I still remember our skies, so blue
I know its over and the past is the past
But I've found a place I can say my words at last.