Past The Deadline.

I wasn't supposed to live to this age. But I'm here. And I don't have a plan for the future. I don't want to make plans because I don't believe I'll live to reach them. I'm scared of what the future holds. If I could choose, I would stay in year 6. Not because there's less homework or it's easier. But because I had consistent stable adults in my every day life. Even if staying in year 6 meant replaying every day. The same exact ending. Each and every time. I would still choose it. I made a promise when I was younger. It still bothers me. It feels wrong. Really wrong But I'm alive. Even if I don't know why. I won't ever know why. But I'm alive. Past my deadline.