Pathways

Everything I've heard, and learned and seen has impacted me. From hearing different perspectives on "why they think the stars shine" to learning that van Gough used to consume yellow paint to make himself happy. All of this knowledge, and music and people and dreams and memories have made my mind a book of questions
Of unanswered ones that are in desperate seek of An answer. I want to find the answers in Alex, I want to find the answer to life itself
And for the purpose that God has put me on this earth is to fulfill my book of questions, and lead minds to not only think but question the basis of morality. To indulge in it and seek a great perhaps to not only fulfill dreams, but to find yourself within the key
To unlock the doors of exploration and turn every corner with a strong heart and open soul
The world has impacted me
From politics to nature
I want to understand why.
Why life
Why hate,wars,famine
Why the stars
I'm here for a purpose as I've said before.But this time not the echoing words of my father.

It's the drive.
A passion in my soul, to get out.
I've lived in oblivious isolation to others as I seem content with it all,which I am, but what's made my bones ache since I was about 12 is that I had a purpose. Realizing my destiny was to be felt and heard. I began to question "if not now, then when?" I found myself trapped between lilac walls and pondered on about what, and how I would show this world. Keeping to myself, and never really sharing made my aches stronger. It became a consumption that I couldn't crawl out of, I lay on my bed staring
At nothing
Feeling nothing
Seeing nothing
There was a point when I was about 13 and started to write Out of leisure
I began to scribble on lose paper and found myself intrigued with words.
I wrote about the sky, and gradually  went on from then.
Breaking pens about my first heart break and softly curving out letters when I learned that things happen for a reason.
I began to write and it consumed me
But nothing like before..
I've felt trapped and lost and nothing all at the same time
I don't come from a broken home
I don't come from an abusive mother
I don't come from a tragic background
I come from simplicity.
How can one feel such things surrounded by positivity?
It's a fight between myself and I.
I've learned to let go of the past, and forget about the sharpness of lines
For I fought the battle myself.
I pulled myself out of the abyss and fell into a wonderland.
I've been able to Florish and exist because of me.
Because of the toughness and determination My parents have taught me
The patience My disabled brother has given to me
And the acceptance My smallest of brothers give to me, as accepting me in spite of my failures as a role model.
I'm able to breathe because of the ink I splatter on to paper
I'm able to understand because of heartbreak
I'm able to love because of hate
I'm able to see because once the world was blind to me
I've been secluded for so long, that enough was enough.
My mind, body, and soul has a determination.
I am determined to make an impact. It could be global, or it could be neighborly, fact is that I'm here for a purpose.
I will continue to Florish in the realms of enlightenment.To strengthen My maleable mind and fully connect with My heart and spirit to show this world who I am
And what I stand for
It's calling me.
And I've been dying to answer the phone.