For Peat's Sake

An older woman with purple hair
Walked into the office with such great flair,
And pranced straight up the stairs, intending to meet
The CEO of the company that sold her that peat—

The rich, dark soil she’d used with great care,
But now found it lacking, no plants growing there...
She stood at the desk with a fierce little smile,
“I’m here for my answers, it’s been quite a while!”

The CEO looked up, his face turning pale,
“Let me guess—your garden did not prevail?
Did you even read the package to see it was fill dirt?”
“I thought Pete’s was garden soil. Do you have to be so curt?”

The CEO, swallowing, his words coming out slow,
“Well, ma’am, it’s what we call a base, which you really ought to know…”
She raised an eyebrow, her voice sharp as a dart,
“I didn’t buy base—I bought soil, for a start!”

“I get that you thought you were buying some peat,
But, perhaps next time, Mom, you’ll put on your glasses
When you try to grow more of those blasted sawgrasses!”

The CEO smiled, his tone now gentle and sweet:
“And, if you’re willing, let’s go up the street
To the Co-op for coffee and something to eat.”

And while we’re there, I can sign you up for classes
On the very best peat to use for your grasses!