Pendulum

some words i wish i could take back 

moments i’d do anything to relive,

 ask for for answers i never received. 

what do i do? 

this feeling of being constricted between recollections 

brings nothing but pain and anger

it feels like being neck-deep in water 

somewhere between drowning and gasping for air. 

you got my heart on a string like a pendulum, swinging from extreme to extreme 

some days your name sounds like heaven’s blessing, it makes my heart flutter like the first snow

some days like a curse, your name drips bitterly from my tongue 

you tempted my foolish heart and dragged me under 

i’m drowning, but you’re not coming to save me 

now, as i sit, i bury your love in a secret place where it hides and curls up in distress 

with my heart filled with stones where hope used to lie.