People

People
They cause so much pain
Stress
Anxiety

It makes my brain
Want to explode
Because I can't handle
People

I'm rejected
Even when I try
To fit in

I've been told
That I've got to reach out
And go half way
To make and keep friends

And I tried
I tried really, really hard
Because people scare me
So I pushed myself
Out of my shell
To talk to people

And I got rejected
They talked to me
For a little while
But then walked away

How pathetic
Do you think it would be
If I started following them around
Like a lost puppy?

So I sat alone
In silence
Working on my project
Trying not to cry
As I realized....

I don't fit in anywhere

It's always been like this
No matter how hard I try
I always get pushed away
Put on the back burner
The second choice

So I give up
Why even bother
If my heart will just be broken?

I just wanna stay in my room
Or something
And pretend I'm okay
Pretend that my heart isn't damaged
Because that's all I know how to do

I cried last night
I cried because of the loneliness I feel
I cried because of the rejection
And self-hate

Am I not good enough?
Did I do something wrong?
Why am I always the second choice?
And put on the back burner?

I get attention
Because I'm loud and obnoxious
But no one pays attention to me
When I'm quiet
When I'm anxious or depressed

My so-called "friends"
Don't even bat an eye
When I sit down
And just cry

I hate people
People just kind of suck
They hurt me
And reject me
So why bother with people?

I go out of my way
To try and make friends
But nope
It doesn't work

I try to be a good person
A friend I'd want to have
But it's difficult
Especially when I continuously get hurt

So I don't know
What's the point
Of doing anything?

I just don't know anymore