she was 4 and she didn't know.

the hands of her friends
crawled their way to her body.
exploring areas that she
herself hadn't even touched.
their words controlled her
as if she were their puppet.
imitating appalling scenes
that pleased them,
all she could see was their 
faces of glee that hid their
greed.

suddenly her breasts became

a little too big for her body.
"don't let anyone touch you,"
her mom would say.
"cover up, so they won't see."
clothed in apparel that hid
parts that could be of target,
she was still the objective
of the boy on her bus. 
pokes that were more like 
daggers, 
her body was still
a source of excitement
for others.

she's older than before,

she thought she learned.
lust came first, not love.
giving in to his demands, 
her womanhood was exposed.
she gave her body,
but not her innocence. 
that wasn't what he wanted,
so he left.
he was another one yet again.

she's 18 now,

learning about the effects
of the past. 
she had laughed and smiled,
played it off as a joke,
and all because
she didn't know.