Perfection
How many more times am i supposed to try.
Try to perfect who i am inside.
a struggle that holds tight
a struggle that sees no light
am i just supposed to accept
the daily struggles that it brings.
the daily sorrow buried within
no light to shine through
not even from him
You think I’m strong but I’m not at all
i try and stand but i just fall
this strength described
i have resigned
Whats the point to try and hide
Who is the girl thats inside
a wall built so tall
destroyed in seconds by a simple reflection
im fragile and i am weak
i am emotional and depressed
This life i live slowly being undressed
piece by piece i try and perfect
the mirror is a reflection
mine it screams imperfection
so many flaws I’m disgusted
the food i ate, i never should have trusted
The lies i believe are sick
just like my soul
I’ve given up trying to fix
this life i live, will always stick
I can cry and i can beg
nothing seems to change
same shit different day
wondering when it won’t be that way
Ive accepted the fact that this is who i am
I’ve stopped caring, i no longer give a damn
if this is who i am, let me just say
this struggle I face has gotten its way
You’ve taken my life and won’t let go
its a consuming fire burning slow
no matter how loud i scream
words coming out, but its silent it seems
The girl that you have taken over
she had potential and a future
she did not ask for you to do this
but as life went on, this struggle became her
forgetting who she was before
being happy became a chore
laying limp on her floor
tired and depressed, her life, she’s fighting for
i look in the mirror and do not recognize
the girl staring back at me, slowly cries
who have i become i ask myself
this living hell has corrupted me
stealing my life
placing lies in my mind
but the worst part of this all
the truth and the lies i no longer can decide
Hope is a word filled with so much meaning
one i used to believe until this all became me
hope for the hopeless
more like an imperial atonement
referring to the kingdom
im not trying to bash Him
simply stating words that ring true
a Son sent to forgive me and forgive you
this life is sinful
yet out of my control
i have prayed and i have cried
a life with jesus, for that i strive
these highs and lows
these burdens bestowed
will he still love me if i say no
i no longer can fight for i am weak
looking for change that starts within me
being told no by the voices that just scream
a life without this struggle, for He can Redeem
i long for that day
and to know who i am
for now this is it
as lonely as i am
these are the words of my aching heart
ones i hate as it fills with lies
the truth in scripture, push it aside
giving in, these lies thrive
killing the girl who i was inside
telling her to run and to hide
i have tried everything i can
to give it to jesus, to put it in His Hands
for i am weak and know i need strength
to overcome the lies and this deception of my life
my eyes are blind for they cannot see
who is this reflection because she is no longer me
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