People can only judge me as far as their eyes can see
But no one really knows the real me
It's only safe when I can see their smiles on me
They can't know what I don't tell them and can't see what I don't show them, so really I can't blame them
They say “trust me”, but I'm not that naïve
I can only trust them as much as celebrities trust TMZ with their privacy
Not that any of these facts are new to me.
If I say the wrong thing they get uncomfortable and leave, but these are the same ones who told me, “when everyone leaves, don’t worry, you will still have me.”
They can’t know there was a time I was dying inside
Only you could see me on my knees begging you to change me
Only you could see the times I cried and each time I bled
They can’t see all the nights I wept and all the thoughts I chose to keep in my head
Only you know all my victories and failures
All my desires and embarrassing pleasures
Only you know all the days I prayed pleading for brighter days
It is you that knows how perfect and imperfect I really am
I can’t send you the same cropped and edited beautiful me that people on Instagram and Facebook can see.
When I run, you follow me
When I hate, you love me
When I’m depressed, you inspire me
Knocked down, you raised me
Rejected, you accepted me
I sinned, you forgave me
Lord, this is why I love you.