Perspective

When I wake up in the morning and stare into the mirror, who do I see.  

I see a 6 foot tall person just standing there. 

Deciding which face to put on.Which will it be today? The insecure, self-loathing, little kid that dwells from within. Or the smile, happy go lucky, helpful one that goes through the day hating myself for all the little mistakes I caused.  Why can't I just pick? Either way I'm still lost and can't find my way. I ask again who am I? People tell me I'm kind, sweet, amazing, beautiful, loving, respectful and caring. Yet why do I feel like none of those things. Everyday I try and try to live up to standards that I placed for my self. Yet everyday I fail. Every time I try to be what people think I amI lose myself.  I feel like I'm drowning with no one to help me Chocking on my own faults Chocking on the behaviors I try to display, but fail Chocking on a lie.  How can people tell me I'm kind, sweet, amazing, beautiful, loving, respectful and caring. When I myself don't feel like that. It's all a lie to me. Who am I???? I'm neither here nor there I scream for help yet no one answersI crawl in a corner and cry, trying to understand what I did wrong  Why do I feel like this? This feeling of being alone in the world, empty,  not having people to help me. My mouth says no.But my eyes scream yes. Why cant someone help me.  Who am I ?????? I can no longer tell if the day is true or falseAll I know is that everyday temptation lingers around me as a plague does with a rat Who am I? I'm tired of feeling emptyI'm tired of feeling like I don't belong I'm tired of feeling like misplaced I'm just fucking tired of all the lies that is fed to me by society  How come I don't feel like I'm beautiful, sweet, loving, amazing or respectful enough I ask again for the fourth time Who the hell am I ? Why cant people see my fake smile. I'm crying for help on the inside. Why can anyone hear me.  

This poem is about: 
Me

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