Petrushka
Location
I exist to please.
But I must breathe, inhale and exhale,
only the sharp cold air
that compresses me out,
that cages me in.
What do I see?
Nothing, but I long for more.
I long to escape this amity with my soul,
but all that follows me
is calamity, nothing more.
I am in love with something
too far to reach.
Even that star is closer,
a star of misfortune
and deceit.
But my love is longing,
I cannot wait.
No more smiles, no more silence
can cover me.
Me and my shame.
From afar, a glowing silhouette
meant only for me to see.
But she is dead, long dead,
in my heart
now left to bleed.
And I dance in circles,
beauty that cannot be described.
Oh, how I wished to accept,
and be accepted
by her, by them.
But all ends in vain,
unwanted and useless.
Left only for the folly to realize,
no more strings hold me back
no more strings left to pull.
And hence I torment,
and struggle,
with I and me.
With a face that does not falter,
I play God’s final cacophany.
And once more I lose,
no wit nor trick
can be played.
And once more I die,
I am folly’s maestro in display.
I am Petrushka.
God, why am I me?