A Piece Of Me

I want to tell you about me, this girl, this poet, this human. I want to share a piece of me. This journey will be emotional and difficult, and I will try to be real and honest. I started life a happy little girl but soon my life became dark and a struggle. I watched my sister die on the street, her blood soaking the snow and that event changed my life forever and ever. I went inside of me and would not speak, I existed in a fantasy world, where I was a beautiful princess. It was dreamy, ethereal and surreal and life could not touch me. It was my grandma who broke the trance, she gave me a journal and pen and said, "write it, my dear, write the pain." And I did, I wrote and wrote it all and thus a poet was born. The writing gave me self-worth and pride. As I grew people told me, "your so beautiful!" Soon, I believed it to be true and a self-serving vanity took over me thinking beauty would get me all I wanted in life. I wore many masks to suit any self-serving situation and each defeat or failure was a bruise to my ego. My life became a ravaged garden of death, it seemed to me that God Almighty had forsaken me. In time, he had taken every single person I loved to be with him. All my beloved became names engraved in stone and I was left dismal and my life bleak. ego was a rock it held me hostage from life- I let my mask go And I started to write not to win, not to be praised but for me, for my soul. I try to write my best and each success is an honor but I do not hold myself an idol. I see this skill of the dripping pen a gift from God and I am blessed. I have battled with health along this journey and knocked on the door to heaven twice and have been turned back. I realize each day is precious and I live in the moment, for tomorrow is not promised. I left ego long ago and now exist in a tranquil and beautiful place surrounded by love. I have found my place, my hope and dream. I am able to write my tears and fears, and to show my soul. I give part of me to all my friends, I hold nothing back and take a piece of them with me. I like to give back to my community by helping the poor at a food bank. I am a good listener and if my struggle with ego can assist a single person then I am fulfilling my human ego and God's hopes for me. What do I dislike about me ? I view myself as a poet, a photographer, and if I can touch people with my words and photographs then I am happy. dreamy reflections reverie and fantasy- the nightmare of life