Pieces

Nobody ever told me how beautiful fragmented shards of shattered glass look in the moonlight or how looking from a sharp angle can mystify the shards mangled by an errant blow i wonder what it feels like to be whole at one moment but the first blow scars- spider web thin fissures ripping across its face tearing unity apart spider web lines oh so fine like gossamer strands frozen in time highlighted by the moonlight but another blow and reduced to pieces it seems ghostly whole in the street but mostly in pieces at my feet a fragmented flower once beautiful like stained glass but now only a blood soaked stain we pass walking through the remnants of the hood why couldn't anyone see that I was broken too? why couldn't they see the spiderwebs on my arms and legs the jagged crossword puzzle of pain spelling not pity just misery within me around me negativity surrounds me so the scars though inflicted initially by my effed up family becomes my escape into a flimsy sanity oh what vanity pretending to be angry at a whole society that would hang me but they're conspiring to blame me marked a threat i'm toe tagged newton, huey my invisible pain is on display freedom of speech yet you persecute me radicalized by the radical lies my crying eyes despise everything portals to the pain within my soul wishing I were like the window so my transparency can't show you the depths I've plunged into shards, strands, fragments, pieces, these are the words I imagine you could've told me I loved you, you were artist, lover, friend, and family member taking your life couldn't give me the peace I'm needing the daughter you left behind doesn't know why it's me not you she's listening to reading so now all I can do is look at your pictures and remember the broken windows in the hood let the cold in during december.