pity

Pity
I sit here pondering as I'm stuck in a daze...
Of all the tomorrows to come and all the yesterdays...
My days have been full of lust...
Not once was it love...
I craved for the one but she never answered my call...
So I resorted to self pleasure in appearances...
Soft skin,smooth lips,luscious hips,silky hair...
Who am I to hold high preferences...
Who was I to stare...
I let lust take over so quickly...
Thus why I've fallen with in my self...
I brought myself together to take shelter to hide from the outside...
When I needed redemption from within...

It was all good until I set eyes upon another I yet couldn't hold....
False pretenses of love in my dreams are starting to get so old...
My heart wants things it never can and shall receive...
So in the end my brain does its job as I sleep to deceive...
I tried to achieve a higher calling and move on from it but those my eyes deem worthy are forever in my dreams...
I can't conquer it...
This lust is a red eyed monster that seeks whom she may devour and my soul was a dark and wet abyss so she decided to stop bye for a shower...

Strong commonalities held me to my old ways of hospitality...
But alas it was time to move onward toward some more conventional mental brutality...
You see for those of you whom won't understand my thinking my mind it all has been exchanged for a better man...
A better plan I hatched and named it enlightenment...
I just hope that upon that journey I don't get misguided...

The path I have created for myself looking back is rather shaking but as I look forward that path is now no longer risky...
So I let some light into my soul and banished lust as I thrust my self forward to my future half will read this and merely say wow idgaf...
The rest will read this back over and be enlightened...
For I wrote this with only six fingers as I was peering threw a trident...
So much for a visual representation of desperation in the end I just wrote a visual representation of pity self hate...
In the hopes of re-vitalized respiration...